Study study study

Number of hours until my English exam: 32

Number of quotes I need to know for my English exam: 44

Number of times I have stopped studying to check my emails/blog/play minesweeper: Too many.

I have a secret ... I'm not very good at studying. People assume I must be, because I get good marks, but I think it's more to do with the way I think, and my memory, than studying hard. I tend to get distracted (like right now!)

I'm currently surrounded by pieces of paper with things like "The horror! The horror!" (Conrad's Heart of Darkness) and "A shudder in the loins engenders there" (Yeats' "Leda and the Swan"). My room looks like a cyclone hit it - schoolbooks, pens, university prospectuses, eraser shavings and previous exams are everywhere, and I can't remember the last time I put any clothes away (although I have a theory that it is easier to find clothes on the floor than in my even-messier chest of drawers).

I know that this probably isn't the best environment to be studying in. I actually had plans to get a bit of a filing system going - Chemistry crap goes in this draw, Maths crap goes in here... it seems a bit late to do it now. So I'm soldiering on.

I've been told by every single one of my teachers that I should be studying for AT LEAST five hours a day. I know people who do eight hours a day. Me? I think I managed three yesterday.

I think that, at this point, I just can't let this get to me. There's no use cramming, for one. Also, I know that everyone learns in a different way, so it's possible I don't need to study that much (I've been getting good marks all year like this). It's also possible that that's just wishful thinking, but I'm sticking with it. And hey, it's too late to worry about it now.

Here's hoping this tactic doesn't fail me when it matters.

*

A shout-out to my new readers! It's great so see some people I don't actually know on here. Keep up the wonderful comments! I promise I'll try to reply to them all.


Quote of the day:
Hermione - This year I plan to study a lot--
Ron - Well, that would be cool if you were actually hot!
"Goin' Back", A Very Potter Musical

The End: Part II

An update on my end-of-schoolness: I've handed in my last piece of work EVER (my Composing and Arranging folio and major work). That just leaves three exams and my final Music Solo Performance moderation.

I've had so many "last"s recently. My last test (matrices, five weeks ago), my last assignment for an examinable subject (a chemistry prac), my last day of classes (on which we actually did quizzes and went out for lunch), my last actual classes (a few days earlier), my last day of school... it's exciting, frightening, a huge relief and sad all at the same time.

A huge relief, since this year has been tough at best (and torturous at worst), and I really need it to be over for the sake of my mental health.

Exciting, because a new phase in my life is about to start - adulthood.

Frightening, because I don't know where that will lead me.

Sad, because there are lots of people that I probably will never talk to again... plus I'm a big softie and will actually miss school once it's over, even the hard bits, and the teachers.

As a celebration of my wonderful life at school, I'll leave you with a quote from my hysterical chemisty class of '09, the day we were learning about cleaning agents.


Quote of the day:
Random kid #1 - What's hard water?
Random kid #2 (with a totally straight face and without missing a beat) - Ice.


EDIT: Whoops, forgot to wish a VERY HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY to CC!!

The End

I have, in some ways, officially finished high school. Forever.

Please excuse me while I freak out.

Today was the last day of school, in which we took part in the usual Muck-Up Day Final Day activities - dressing up, putting on a concert, pulling pranks, and generally being outrageous (okay, I wasn't outrageous, but a lot of people were! By the way, just in case you are interested, I was Ms Pacman). It was AWESOME.

Somehow, though, I feel a little... anti-climactic. I've been looking forward to this day since I saw my first one, back in Year 8. Now that I've been there, and done it, I've already started forgetting things about it.

Sure, I won't forget the sight of the Footy Boys dancing to "Single Ladies" in leotards, or my friends dressed as Pacman Ghosts, or the feeling I got when I realised that bloke in the long black wig was my ex-boyfriend, and I hadn't recognised him. But I probably will forget most of what happened today.

In a lot of ways, this makes me sad. After all, I expected this day to be one of those Big Moments in life that you will always remember. It was the end of something huge, and I expected to feel a sense of triumph, of elation, of loss. Somehow, I don't.

I suppose it shouldn't be surprising. After all, I still have two and half weeks (yes, I'm counting) until my final exam is over. Today, in that sense, was not the end of anything.

It was, though, a day for us to celebrate the time we've had at high school, to thank our teachers and each other, to chill out and have fun before the final crunch time. And it definitely was that. Instead of taking the piss out of the teachers and the other year levels, like other Year 12 groups have done, we took the piss out of ourselves, and celebrated our school community. Despite the fact that I don't feel like this was a Big Moment, it was still a fantastic day. And hey, now we have the internet to record these moments. If I ever forget this day, I can just read back on this blog, and find the photos on Facebook.

CLASS OF '09 FOR THE WIN!!!!


Quote of the day:
"Miss Pacman, I would sex that bow right off your head. Eat those dots, you naughty, naughty girl!" – The Todd, Scrubs

Stress!

I have had the most stressful week in my entire life. Due to unfortunate timing, I was involved in three concerts (two of which required multiple rehearsals) and had two tests, plus a two-day dance workshop. The stress and exhaustion actually made me feel physically ill.

It made me wonder if any of this was worth it. Year 12 is built up as the most important year of your life, but in about two years I won't even care what my results were. I've had all this work piled onto me for one bit of paper which, in the grand scheme of things, doesn't matter a whole lot.

Also, most of the things I've learned this year I'll probably never use again, since I'll probably end up studying music. When would I ever use matrices, calculus or integration? Why would I ever need to know about redox reactions? Why do I need to be able to write analytical essays about depressing novels?

So I've asked myself, why have a put myself through this torture?

Okay, so if I dropped out of school, or I fail Year 12, I won't get into the university course I want... unless I wait a few years and enter as a mature-aged student. So that's not the reason.

I think there are lots of reasons I'm still here. One of them is that all my friends are here, and I didn't want to miss out on our last year together. Next year I won't see them nearly as often.

When it comes down to it, though, the main reason is that I didn't want to quit. I'm an over-achiever. I needed to prove that I could tough it out, and get good marks like other people.

I guess it doesn't make much sense. I'm in this for the moment of satisfaction I'll get when I open the results envelope in December? For the certificate I'll get? When you put it like that, I don't really understand it.

I think it's mostly about the fact that Year 12 is a challenge, and I could never, ever have turned that challenge down.


Quote of the day:
"Today, I figured out why my computer works better than me. It gets more sleep. MLIA."


Also, a very happy eighteenth birthday to my friend Kat!