Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Cairns

Rozzy is alive!

Sorry guys, I've been away having fun... seven of my friends and I went to Cairns for a supremely non-rebellious version of Schoolies. We watched a whole lot of Scrubs, went snorkelling and scuba diving on the Great Barrier Reef and are now all really broke. It was AWESOME!

I'll update this post with some photomagraphs when my lazy friends bother to give me some (just joking, love you guys!).

For now you can have a map of Australia that shows you where I went. Yes I added the line in paint, don't judge me.




Quote of the Day:
Carla: Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?
Turk: You mean, why is there silverware in the pancake drawer? Wassup.
-Scrubs, Ep6 Seas3


Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Graduation

So, consider me... graduated.

Hasn't really sunk in yet. Had an awesome time though!

At my school we have our graduation and formal on the same night, so we get all dolled up for a night of formalities and frivolity.

Have some pictures:

This is my lovely boyfriend and me (excuse the weird expression):


I haven't mentioned him before, have I? Oh well, in this blog I shall refer to him as The Medic.

This one is of M and I:




So there you go. That was the official end of high school. It's been kind of drawn out - my last DAY of high school was more than a month ago (and it feels like a whole lot longer than that!). But there we are: it's finally over. Finito. Sudah.

It feels good.


Quote of the Day:
(regarding a photo in which M is leaning on Dippers)
Dippers: I'll always be your rock, Emma.
M: And I'll always be your paper!


Quote of the Day II: (can't believe I forgot this one!)
Fred: You can't graduate us!
George: WE QUIT!
-Hogwarts High, a fanfic by Siriusly Amused


Saturday, November 21, 2009

Yeouch!


Ick. Is it just me, or has this week been particularly painful?

It's all my own doing, of course. I endure this pain completely voluntarily.

On Mondy (what am I, Irish? Lol) Monday my friend Kat and I gave blood together. I remember the first time we went, and I was really scared. I don't often walk into these unknown situations. But they were really nice to me, and it was (relatively) easy and painless. I've done it three times now.

It isn't as bad as I thought it would be. Having said that, they do stick a freakin' huge needle in your arm. In Kat's case, twice. (I'm apparently lucky to have very prominent veins. The nurses comment on it every time I go, in the same manner as "Wow, I really like your shirt".)

I did almost faint once. It was amazing how quickly the nurses reacted. Before I knew it, I was lying back in the chair with a glass of water and a fan blowing straight on me.

Anyway, I got this pretty cool sticker that says "Be nice to me... I gave blood Today". I wanted to take a picture of it for you but my camera has gone *POOF*... so you get a real blood blood drop instead. :)

However, not all my voluntary pain has been so selfless. Today I (dun dun dun...) had my legs waxed.

I mean, seriously, who the hell decided, "Oh wait, I know how to remove hair from legs! Cover it in hot wax and rip it out!"?

It probably hurt so much because I haven't done it in so long. I got sick of forking out $40 just to writhe in pain, so I reverted to shaving. It so happens, though, that my Year 12 Formal is on Monday night and I wanted to be properly defuzzed for my pretty purple dress, hence the forking and writhing. So now, my legs are covered in these horrific red spots, this sticky lotion stuff, little patches of wax (which is, annoyingly, clear, meaning I can't see it unless the light is right), and these stray hairs that, despite the torture, somehow survived.

And you know which one hurt more? Not the selfless act which can save lives, oh no. The was just a couple of needle pricks. It was the beauty torture.

Grrr.


Quote of the Day:
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

-Albert Einstein


P.S. If you haven't seen it, the wonderful Team StarKid of A Very Potter Musical fame has a new project on YouTube: Me and My Dick, surprisingly endearing and funny as hell. Check it out!



Thursday, November 12, 2009

FREEDOM!!!

Hey guys, sorry I've been offline for awhile. I've been a little busy, what with FINISHING YEAR 12 AND ALL.

:)

Sorry, I'm totally not over it yet.

Anyway, so I had my last exam yesterday (Chemistry) and it went really well. Very exciting! And now I have lots of free time on my hands, which I will spend doing... lots of useful things, and lots of really pointless things as well, just because I can.

Seriously, I can't tell you how good it feels not to have to worry about study any more. I mean, I still have things to worry about (like university, earning money, teaching dance next year, etc etc etc) but this thing that has been hanging over me for so long is finally gone.

It's a bit weird, though. Final exams have been this massive roadblock for all of us ever since we started high school. For five years, they've been looming over us as the be all and end all of... everything.

My experience? They weren't that bad.

Sure they were stressful. Sure it sucked having to study every single day for months and months. But the fact is, they felt kind of like every other test we've done this year. They were even in the same room. And after sitting three (wait... four) trial exams, countless tests and supervised tasks and three proper exams (plus the three I sat last year) I feel like an old hand.

Just for fun, here's a list of things I would not have survived Year 12 without:

-My family. All of them. Even my extended family who sent me lots of encouraging text messages before exams. I love you all!
-My friends, aka The Bench Mob. I know not all of you have quite finished yet, but in just a few days it will all be over and we will have survived! Together!
-Scrubs. My brother and I have collected every season on DVD during the year. I've found episodes of Scrubs to be particularly good for study breaks, being the perfect length (20 minutes). I swear, watching this show has kept me sane.
-Minesweeper. Whoever invented this game should be made a saint. Not only have I got my best time on Expert down to 135 seconds, I've found it to be really good for getting my mind off exams. The same goes for Sudoku puzzles.
-Dancing. For those of you who don't know, I help teach Irish Dancing at a little school here in Darwin, and I'm so glad I made the effort to keep it going this year. It's been hard work, but it's a wonderful escape, and working with the little kids is so rewarding.

Okay, that will probably do. Here's to never having to do Maths or Chemistry ever, ever, ever again!


Quote of the Day:
"Procrastination isn't the problem, it's the solution. So procrastinate now, don't put it off."
-Ellen DeGeneres


Monday, November 2, 2009

English!

One down, two to go! How exciting.

Just a quick update to say that I'm pretty sure I didn't fail my English exam - and I'm very excited that I'll never have to write another English essay again! The questions were pretty good, including one that fitted my text absolutely perfectly (yay!).

Apparently Mr. English Teacher has been going around saying, "How banal, the questions were so banal." If you haven't guessed, intimidation through vocabulary is his thing. He even got an award on our last day to that affect, called the Pomposity award. He said, "WHAT!!? I'm not pompous!" and we were like, well actually, yes you are. Extremely pompous. Case in point, right now.

Anyway, enough about him. I never have to see him in his very scary footy shorts ever again... unless I accidentally run into him at Woolies, which I did once. I never want to again though. He's a BIG man, and the shorts are extremely disturbing, especially if you're not expecting to see them.

And oookay, I'm going to shut up now, before I accidentally declare undying love for my English teacher or something...



Quote of the day:
It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument.
- William G. McAdoo

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Study study study

Number of hours until my English exam: 32

Number of quotes I need to know for my English exam: 44

Number of times I have stopped studying to check my emails/blog/play minesweeper: Too many.

I have a secret ... I'm not very good at studying. People assume I must be, because I get good marks, but I think it's more to do with the way I think, and my memory, than studying hard. I tend to get distracted (like right now!)

I'm currently surrounded by pieces of paper with things like "The horror! The horror!" (Conrad's Heart of Darkness) and "A shudder in the loins engenders there" (Yeats' "Leda and the Swan"). My room looks like a cyclone hit it - schoolbooks, pens, university prospectuses, eraser shavings and previous exams are everywhere, and I can't remember the last time I put any clothes away (although I have a theory that it is easier to find clothes on the floor than in my even-messier chest of drawers).

I know that this probably isn't the best environment to be studying in. I actually had plans to get a bit of a filing system going - Chemistry crap goes in this draw, Maths crap goes in here... it seems a bit late to do it now. So I'm soldiering on.

I've been told by every single one of my teachers that I should be studying for AT LEAST five hours a day. I know people who do eight hours a day. Me? I think I managed three yesterday.

I think that, at this point, I just can't let this get to me. There's no use cramming, for one. Also, I know that everyone learns in a different way, so it's possible I don't need to study that much (I've been getting good marks all year like this). It's also possible that that's just wishful thinking, but I'm sticking with it. And hey, it's too late to worry about it now.

Here's hoping this tactic doesn't fail me when it matters.

*

A shout-out to my new readers! It's great so see some people I don't actually know on here. Keep up the wonderful comments! I promise I'll try to reply to them all.


Quote of the day:
Hermione - This year I plan to study a lot--
Ron - Well, that would be cool if you were actually hot!
"Goin' Back", A Very Potter Musical


Wednesday, October 28, 2009

The End: Part II

An update on my end-of-schoolness: I've handed in my last piece of work EVER (my Composing and Arranging folio and major work). That just leaves three exams and my final Music Solo Performance moderation.

I've had so many "last"s recently. My last test (matrices, five weeks ago), my last assignment for an examinable subject (a chemistry prac), my last day of classes (on which we actually did quizzes and went out for lunch), my last actual classes (a few days earlier), my last day of school... it's exciting, frightening, a huge relief and sad all at the same time.

A huge relief, since this year has been tough at best (and torturous at worst), and I really need it to be over for the sake of my mental health.

Exciting, because a new phase in my life is about to start - adulthood.

Frightening, because I don't know where that will lead me.

Sad, because there are lots of people that I probably will never talk to again... plus I'm a big softie and will actually miss school once it's over, even the hard bits, and the teachers.

As a celebration of my wonderful life at school, I'll leave you with a quote from my hysterical chemisty class of '09, the day we were learning about cleaning agents.


Quote of the day:
Random kid #1 - What's hard water?
Random kid #2 (with a totally straight face and without missing a beat) - Ice.


EDIT: Whoops, forgot to wish a VERY HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY to CC!!


Saturday, October 24, 2009

Testing, Testing...

Just a quick post to try out my new signature... I've seen similar signatures in a few blogs now and really liked them, so I thought I'd get one myself. Let me know if you like it! (And I finally fixed the background colour!!! Yay!)

I also thought I'd mention that I've signed up to a couple of hit counter sites. This means that I know when you read my blog, even if you don't comment... but it makes me sad when I get all these hits and no one has bothered to let me know they were here! I mean, now I do know if you were here, but that doesn't help me to know whether or not you like what you read. I don't mind if it's constructive criticism - help me make StorkSpace better! Please, please, please comment when you read, even if it's just to cheer me up. (And trust me, I need that right now - my first exam is just over a week away!)



Quote of the day:
"I don't know what that means." - Dr Temperance Brennan, Bones.



Friday, October 23, 2009

The End

I have, in some ways, officially finished high school. Forever.

Please excuse me while I freak out.

Today was the last day of school, in which we took part in the usual Muck-Up Day Final Day activities - dressing up, putting on a concert, pulling pranks, and generally being outrageous (okay, I wasn't outrageous, but a lot of people were! By the way, just in case you are interested, I was Ms Pacman). It was AWESOME.

Somehow, though, I feel a little... anti-climactic. I've been looking forward to this day since I saw my first one, back in Year 8. Now that I've been there, and done it, I've already started forgetting things about it.

Sure, I won't forget the sight of the Footy Boys dancing to "Single Ladies" in leotards, or my friends dressed as Pacman Ghosts, or the feeling I got when I realised that bloke in the long black wig was my ex-boyfriend, and I hadn't recognised him. But I probably will forget most of what happened today.

In a lot of ways, this makes me sad. After all, I expected this day to be one of those Big Moments in life that you will always remember. It was the end of something huge, and I expected to feel a sense of triumph, of elation, of loss. Somehow, I don't.

I suppose it shouldn't be surprising. After all, I still have two and half weeks (yes, I'm counting) until my final exam is over. Today, in that sense, was not the end of anything.

It was, though, a day for us to celebrate the time we've had at high school, to thank our teachers and each other, to chill out and have fun before the final crunch time. And it definitely was that. Instead of taking the piss out of the teachers and the other year levels, like other Year 12 groups have done, we took the piss out of ourselves, and celebrated our school community. Despite the fact that I don't feel like this was a Big Moment, it was still a fantastic day. And hey, now we have the internet to record these moments. If I ever forget this day, I can just read back on this blog, and find the photos on Facebook.

CLASS OF '09 FOR THE WIN!!!!


Quote of the day:
"Miss Pacman, I would sex that bow right off your head. Eat those dots, you naughty, naughty girl!" – The Todd, Scrubs

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Long time no see - I've been to the movies a lot

Whoops, it's been awhile since I was here. I hope you all missed me!

I've finally got my last assessments out of the way, and my trial exams, so the stress-induced freakout of my last post has abated. In order to pass the free time (heheh, what is the 'free time' you speak of?) and/or procrastinate from studying, I have seen not one, but three excellent films in the last couple of weeks: The Young Victoria, UP, and Mao's Last Dancer.

The Young Victoria is an absolutely beautiful film. The impeccable cast, led by the wonderful Emily Blunt, is only one aspect of the film's achievement. The cinematography (not that I pretend to know anything about cinematography) was beautiful. I'll admit that I'm a sucker for love stories, royalty and history, and this film excels in all three, so perhaps I am a little biased. I really did love this film though. Highly recommended.

UP was, as always, a wonderful Pixar achievement. I've decided that Pixar films are always perfect because they take so bloody long to make, that any tiny imperfection in plot, character, animation, etc is picked up. UP is very different from it's predecessor, WALL-E, and certainly had big shoes to fill, but the film manages to go above and beyond what we expect from a children's movie. Like the first Shrek movie, Finding Nemo and other giants of this genre, UP makes adults and children alike laugh and cry (including one memorable moment where my friend CC managed to do both at the same time). I loved the fleeting nods to the "Dogs Playing Poker" series of paintings and the Star Wars X-Wings. I can also assure you that I will be yelling "SQUIRREL!" randomly in the middle of sentences from now on. Anyway, if you haven't seen this movie yet, you really, really should. Don't wait for the DVD.

Finally, we have Mao's Last Dancer. I really wish I'd read the book before I went to see the film, but that's just because I'm a Reader with a capital R, not because the movie didn't make sense. It was a really lovely film; it didn't have the breathtaking beauty of The Young Victoria (although the scenes in China were stunning), or the hilarity of UP, but it was definitely one of the better Aussie films I've seen in awhile, and it very nearly made me cry (which is definitely an achievement!). The knowledge that every word of it was true made it even more poignant (Li Cunxin, whose autobiography the film is based on, has recently been named Australia's Father of the Year). Also, the dancing is spectacular. Again, I highly recommend this film.

So there you have it - my last couple of weeks summed up in three films, and three exams. That's seriously all I've been doing. My life is boring (or should I say average?). Props to M for seeing two of these with me :)


Quote of the day:
"Hey, I know a joke! A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, 'I forgot to store acorns for the winter and now I am dead.' Ha! It is funny because the squirrel gets dead." - Dug the dog, Pixar's UP

Friday, September 25, 2009

Stress!

I have had the most stressful week in my entire life. Due to unfortunate timing, I was involved in three concerts (two of which required multiple rehearsals) and had two tests, plus a two-day dance workshop. The stress and exhaustion actually made me feel physically ill.

It made me wonder if any of this was worth it. Year 12 is built up as the most important year of your life, but in about two years I won't even care what my results were. I've had all this work piled onto me for one bit of paper which, in the grand scheme of things, doesn't matter a whole lot.

Also, most of the things I've learned this year I'll probably never use again, since I'll probably end up studying music. When would I ever use matrices, calculus or integration? Why would I ever need to know about redox reactions? Why do I need to be able to write analytical essays about depressing novels?

So I've asked myself, why have a put myself through this torture?

Okay, so if I dropped out of school, or I fail Year 12, I won't get into the university course I want... unless I wait a few years and enter as a mature-aged student. So that's not the reason.

I think there are lots of reasons I'm still here. One of them is that all my friends are here, and I didn't want to miss out on our last year together. Next year I won't see them nearly as often.

When it comes down to it, though, the main reason is that I didn't want to quit. I'm an over-achiever. I needed to prove that I could tough it out, and get good marks like other people.

I guess it doesn't make much sense. I'm in this for the moment of satisfaction I'll get when I open the results envelope in December? For the certificate I'll get? When you put it like that, I don't really understand it.

I think it's mostly about the fact that Year 12 is a challenge, and I could never, ever have turned that challenge down.


Quote of the day:
"Today, I figured out why my computer works better than me. It gets more sleep. MLIA."


Also, a very happy eighteenth birthday to my friend Kat!

Friday, September 18, 2009

What to do when you should be doing something else

Rozzy needs to post something. Actually, Rozzy should be studying, but hey who cares. What should Rozzy write about? Procrastinating!

In my opinion, procrastinating is healthy once in a while... probably not as often I do it, but oh well. Anyway, leaving things undone and just taking a break is something we all need to learn to do every so often, especially if we are COMPLETELY STRESSED OUT like most of the Year 12s I know (including me).

So how do you procrastinate?

Presenting... Rozzy's Ultimate Guide to Wasting Time!

1. Make a list of things you need to do.
2. Put it away so you don't feel too guilty when you don't do these things.
3. Hop on the net and check your emails. If they're important, don't reply.
4. Go to MLIA. If you need it, there are about 500 pages of hilarious and average things to read about.
5. Go to LunchTimers. This one's especially good if you don't want to think too much. Play simple flash games with strangers and waste time.
6. Watch A Very Potter Musical, even if you've seen it before. If that's not enough, download the free soundtrack.
7. Watch Little White Lie, which is an excellent webseries also by Starkid.
8. If you've had enough of web-based procrastination, try reading a book you've read a hundred times before like, say... Harry Potter. There are lots of them to take up your time.
9. Have a nice, long shower, especially if the weather is hot (like it is here). Unless you have water restrictions, in which case you should go and stare wistfully at the shower.
10. Read blogs with no real purpose, like this one.

EDIT: So I took my own advice and had a nice long shower, and in the process remembered some of my favourite procrastination techniques that I somehow managed to forget.

11. Watch a whole series of your favourite TV show on DVD. (I like watching Scrubs)
12. Read fanfiction, preferably of the really crappy "omg plz review my first fanfic i luv u guys so much i wont spell anything properly!" variety, so you can laugh at it.
13. Rearrange your bookcase so your books are in alphabetical order by author. (Yes, I actually do this sometimes.)
14. Watch informercials (only for the REALLY desperate).

Post your other time-wasting ideas in the comments!

Monday, September 14, 2009

Rozzy Rozzy Rozzy...

So I thought I should introduce myself properly...

I'm a 17-year-old Year 12 student from Darwin, Australia. (For those of you who don't know, Darwin is up in the tropics, right under Indonesia. Right now it is really really humid and I wish it would rain already. Lembab sekali!) I enjoy music, Irish dancing, spending time with my gorgeous friends and crazy internet fads. I am a Christian, but I don't think that will come into this blog too much - maybe just the occasional quasi-philosophical brain fart. Also I did Indonesian at school until last year, so if I randomly break out into Indo, just ignore me.

If you're wondering about my name: no, it is not my real name (duh), it's a nickname given to me by a couple of friends. In fact, the name of this blog came from another nickname, Stork (I'm 5'10").

If you'd like to find a blog from someone who's crazier than I am, check out my friend M's.

A few random questions that I stole from M's blog:


What is your occupation? Student and Irish dancing teacher (I'm not qualified or anything, I just help out and do choreography and stuff).

What colour are your socks right now? Are you crazy? It's the Build-Up in Darwin! Having said that, the socks I wore to school today were white and purple.

What are you listening to right now? Granger Danger from A Very Potter Musical (yes, I am obsessed, but hey it's good stuff!)

Can you drive a shift stick? If that means a manual, yes I can, but not very well (I've been very lazy and, even though I got my L's 18 months ago, I've driven a grand total of four times).

Last person you spoke to on the phone? Probably M... it usually is :)

How old are you today? What, is it my birthday or something? Lol. I'm 17.

What is your favourite drink? Lemon lime and bitters.

Have you ever dyed your hair? No, but I'm thinking that might be one of my "OMG I'm at uni" freakout things.

Favourite food? Pavlova (yumyumyum)

What is the last movie that you watched? Apollo 13... I don't really know why, we just randomly watched it. The one before that was Peter Pan (awesome).

How do you vent anger? I don't really know... I like M's idea of killing off Sims based on people that annoy me. I need to try that.

What is your favourite season? The wet season is awesome! For all of you who have been deprived of living in the tropics, I choose winter (rugging up is novel for me).

Eye colour? Grey (very boring).

Hair colour? Brown

Height? Too tall haha... about 5'10". I really should know what that is in cm, seeing as we don't use imperial here in Australia, but I don't.

Finally, the eternal question that I added for the hell of it:
Harry Potter or Twilight? I actually really like both of them (I know, sacreligious much?) but Harry Potter always wins.

Sudah!
...That means finished :)



Quote of the day:
"Today in my dorm room the doorbell rang. Sitting outside the door was a box labeled 'A present from your friends in room 201'. I opened it and a guy popped out, gave me a high five and ran off down the hallway. MLIA."

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Have you heard of Pigfarts?

Time for a shameless plug, methinks. If you don't know who StarKid are, you need to find out. They have not only created a masterpiece from a masterpiece, but they have also injected new enthusiasm into a waning fandom.

What am I talking about? A Very Potter Musical, of course.

Imagine this. It's the first weekend of the mid-year holidays. I've promised myself that I will have a well-earned break from school before tackling the mountain of work I have to do. Sounds good in theory, but two days in and I'm incredibly bored. I find myself on Harry Potter fansites I haven't visited in years. What do I find? A link to HP the Musical, which someone has just uploaded onto Youtube.

My first thought? This is probably going to be crap.

I'm desperate for something to do, so I click the link and am swept up in the world of a very different kind of Hogwarts, where Dumbledore loves High School Musical, Malfoy wants to go to Pigfarts, Voldemort is sexy (and just wants to dance again) and Ron is a chocaholic. Well that can only lead to disaster and hilarity!

Seriously, I've been quoting this for months. I've been cracking up at really inappropriate moments, I've had the song "Granger Danger" stuck in my head for about six weeks straight, and people often go, "Oh, she's going on about that stupid musical again." It is absolutely addictive.

I'm not the only one either; one look at the StarKidPotter Facebook page will tell you how much this has taken fandom by a storm. The first video got 200,000 hits within two days. Within a week there was even fanart.

There have been a few hitches along the way. The entire musical was taken off Youtube after two days due to copyright issues, although it was eventually reposted with its new name and all the dirty jokes edited out (which I was very sad about - one of the pivotal jokes now doesn't make sense, and we are now deprived of hearing Ron's reply of "It wasn't me, I swear!" to Hermione's "Someone's coming!"). But with material this good, the StarKidPotter crew can afford to do anything.

And despite this, one of the most impressive parts of this whole bonanza is the way the StarKid crew have taken their popularity into their stride. The group has let their fans know what is going on every step of the way, has posted behind-scenes-footage, has appeared at Potter conventions, has uploaded the soundtrack for free download and have on the whole been both caring and humble.

Don't just take my word for it. Go and check it out yourself. I can guarantee you, between the flawless writing, the excellent songs, the hilarious jokes and Voldemort's abs, everyone can find something to enjoy.

*Voldemort out, bitches!*

Friday, September 11, 2009

A moment to remember

Okay, so I don't expect that I'll usually be posting every single day, but I couldn't let this day go by without writing something. Let's take a moment to consider the enormity of what happened on September 11 eight years ago.

That day stands out clearly in my memory, even though I was only nine years old at the time. I remember emerging from my bedroom in the morning to find my dad watching television, which was unusual. (I definitely remember it being a Tuesday, but because of the time difference, it was actually Wednesday the 12th... hey, don't you sometimes remember things that never actually happened?) There were people on the TV running around, covered in dust. I remember thinking there had been an earthquake in some third-world country, and being surprised when they spoke with American accents. (I don't know why I made this assumption - you'll have to ask my nine-year-old self.)

I think I eventually had to ask my dad what was going on. He told me that people had flown planes into buildings in New York.

"But why? Wouldn't they have died?" I asked.

I'd never been exposed to something as horrific as suicide bombings before that. I couldn't believe that people would kill themselves to kill thousands of others; it didn't compute in my young brain. Now I come to think of it, it still doesn't.

I went to school as usual, and everyone was buzzing with the news. Kids in my class were discussing Al Qaeda and Osama bin Ladin. I didn't know what they were talking about.

When you think about it, it's surprising that September 11 affected me so much. After all, it didn't even happen in my own country. It shows how much of a global community we really live in.

Did September 11 change me? I guess it must have; it changed everyone. It was one of the first times I was exposed to the true tragedy of humankind. It must have removed some of my innocence, and my naivety. However, I think the real way that September 11 affected me was the way it changed the world around me. Though I can't really remember it, the world was a different place before that day - nowadays, things like airport security and anti-terrorism laws affect our everyday lives. Tensions between Muslims and others have increased a hundredfold. Sometimes these tensions spark violence, like that seen at Cronulla a few years ago; everyone of middle-eastern heritage is considered suspicious by somebody. Now, people are terrified.

For my major English essay this year, I studied a book called Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer. The novel chronicles the struggles of a young boy to find truth in the trauma of 9/11, in which is father is killed. In a way, this book showed me how lucky I have been; like everyone, I was affected by this catastrophe, but I was detached from the violence. I wasn't there when the buildings fell down. I didn't know anyone who died. My life wasn't shattered by the tragedy. This book scared me a little bit, because Oskar is only nine years old - the same age I was at the time of September 11. I can't imagine how I would have coped if it had been my father who was killed.

Another thing this book has taught me, though, is that we can't spend our lives being afraid. Oskar, whose family has been torn apart, lives in constant fear of death. He refuses to travel on public transport, because it is an "obvious target". One of the most poignant lines in the novel for me is when Oskar explains why he wants coffee: "Coffee stunts my growth, and I'm afraid of death." He never really gets over his father's death, and instead chooses to wallow in his grief. It's incredibly sad that, after everything Oskar has been through, he never gets to live again.

If 9/11 had taught me anything, it's that we need to learn how to overcome a tragedy like that. Pain and suffering isn't just going to go away one day. In times of sorrow, we need to remember how to live.

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I couldn't publish this without mentioning the other milestone that has passed today - my last exam is now exactly two months away. Sweet freedom is approaching!

Also, I have to point out how much that post started to sound like my English essay. It even had quotations in it. God save me.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Beginning

Today I’ve finally done it. I’ve taken that first step. I’ve created a blog.

And okay, that might not sound like much to you, but I am a classic procrastinator – in fact, it could be argued that the only reason I’m even doing this is because I’m avoiding what really needs to be done, which is study. My Year 12 exams are approaching with alarming speed. But despite this, I am stepping back from the endless stream of homework, and finally doing what I always said I would do: expressing myself to a bunch of strangers.

…Wait, what?

In the last half an hour, while I’ve been trying to think of something to write, I’ve questioned my own motives for this blog. What do I hope to achieve? Why am I opening myself up like this? Why do I think that total strangers will appreciate anything that I write?

Answering these questions has been difficult. Writing is something I have always enjoyed, and is a medium I have always used as an escape. I’ve lost count of the number of times I have found myself on this computer, losing myself in the worlds of my characters, while the pile of assignments and revision grows ever more precarious. However, I have always limited myself to the fictional, creating new lives and places to get out of my own. This journey, where I hope to record my own life and experiences, seems infinitely more personal, and more intimidating.

After all, how much more vulnerable can I make myself than by expressing my innermost thoughts and feelings? By laying out my life to the scrutiny of others, am I setting myself up for disappointment and hurt?

I guess I’m hoping that I will find this expression empowering, rather than overwhelming.

I’m still not quite sure why I’ve chosen this ordinary Thursday evening to get this show off the ground. I remember thinking all the way back in January that I wanted to write about my life as a final year high school student, to express my stress and frustration, and to have a record of the highlights. I’ve been planning to start this blog for nearly nine months, so why tonight? I don’t think I can answer that question.

I can, however, say this: I honestly want to make a good go of this. I am notoriously bad at keeping promises to myself, but I have promised myself tonight that I will update this blog… well, if not regularly, then at least every so often, as I approach a new phase in my life. It’s not going to be easy, but I hope that with the support of my readers, I will be able to stick at this for at least awhile.

Which brings me to my last question – can I really expect people to read this?

I guess that’s a risk I have to take. I’ve stepped out into the open, making myself vulnerable to both your support, and your criticism. Now I just have to wait and see which one you will choose.